Dating Bravely
by Ann Lust
We are more than halfway through 2023, what have you done? I rode the ferris wheel solo style. I gave my “bad girl” dating habits the boot. And I can fully admit to being too sensitive for my own good and taking shit way to personally.
In this month’s issue of ‘Glamour’, Sara Bareilles (Ms. I’m Not Gonna Write you a Love Song) is choosing to be brave & is living by the lessons she’s learned. They just so happen to tie in beautifully with the topic of dating. I mean after all, I am here to impart my one of a kind dating wisdom. Here’s to dating bravely!
Don’t Compromise Yourself
You don’t want to be a replica of anyone. I can fully admit to being a dork. I own the hell out of my dorkiness. You know what, this time last year I wouldn’t have been able to do that. You know what else, there is a man walking the earth that will totally get it. I have yet to find said man but that’s what dating is for. Dating bravely means that recently, when I was on a date and was informed my date rode a bicycle, I followed up with, “do you wear a helmet?” Like really? Why yes, reason #432 why I’m single is this moment in time. Hey what can I say, I take bicycle safety seriously! Oh, and the only bike I have the slightest interest in riding is made for two people. Yep, 100% dork.
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Do Forget Perfection
This is tough for me since my approach to life has been perfection or failure. Fortunately, life and love are not this black and white. When it comes to mating and relating there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect. I mean he can very well be 99% the man of your dreams and still irritate the hell out of you with that lowly 1% that’s left. The way I see it in our own way we’re all a hot mess and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s called dating bravely, not blindly; perfection is overrated but you know what isn’t? Authenticity! It’s sexy. There’s nothing more attractive than being unashamedly yourself. Case and point, my favorite accessory is my nerd glasses. I recently kicked that up a notch by becoming the proud owner of a turquoise pair that purposely have no lenses. It was absolutely positively love at first sight.
Do Be Yourself In Love
As a self proclaimed sucky dater, I’ve learned that the best thing I can do is to learn from all the stupid shit I’ve done. You name it and more than likely I’ve done it. Cried inconsolably, check. Said things I shouldn’t have, check. Left things unsaid, check. Have a soft spot for assholes, check. Here’s what I’ve learned – it’s okay to cry. Crying and cursing actually make me feel better. It’s okay to put your foot in your mouth. I recommend writing what you want to say to someone so that you get it out, but avoid the whole saying something you didn’t mean. When you’re able to take a step back and process, you might see and feel differently. There is power in silence. When it comes to men who are selfish, inconsiderate & have a black belt in making you feel like the bad guy, the best thing you can do for yourself is to kick his ass to the curb sooner rather than later! It all goes back to the whole being brave thing – like the cool kids say, YOLO (you only live once), and if you do it right once is enough.
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Alone
One thing I want to do is take a trip by myself. I want to take in a new place, try new things and even dine all alone. What can be better than the chance to connect with yourself? At the moment, it’s actually something I’m craving. Life is hectic. There’s always someone who wants something but don’t forget about you and what YOU want. What do you want? I want to love being single. I’m getting there but not quite ready to drop the “L” bomb. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone might not be easy, but it’s totally worth it and no one can push you further or harder than you! So how far are you going to go? … the clock is ticking! The way I see it, there are five months left on the calendar and I’ve got a dating bravely badge to earn. Oh, and you do too!
