How To Make Friends
by Ann Lust
Last night, I mentioned that before you learn how to pick up mature African women, you need to learn how to make friends and build a real life social network. I can guarantee that once you have a solid social network that you’ll be wondering why you even bothered with cold approaching. It’s just so much easier to get laid when you have a solid social network, as you will meet so many mature women through your friends and have instant rapport; none of that cold stuff.
I’m going to write this post assuming that you aren’t in college, and you don’t have access to the various fraternities, organizations, and activity groups that they provide students with through the college union. So where’s the best place to start? The workplace. Know that where you work can decide the types of friends you’re going to be able to make from that place. And this is exactly why I wouldn’t be dying to get into something like the construction industry, where the majority of workers are men, and most likely already have families or serious girlfriends.
If I could go anywhere I wanted, I would definitely go to a very large company for two reasons. The first being that there will be a large number of people to talk to and convert into possible friends, and the second being that in larger companies, it’s easier to sneak off and chit-chat without your boss riding you, as long as you get your work done. At the smaller companies, your boss is going to be breathing down your neck and most likely be able to keep an eye on you constantly since there aren't a lot of employees.
Also, you want to be aware of which industries have a high number of mature women. These are going to be your fashion, entertainment, medical, and hospitality industries. Usually, when you go to a nightclub and see a lot of hot mature women with one or two guys, it’s because they’re all bartenders and promoters for a local nightclub or they‘re in the entertainment industry together. And when you see some average looking guy with hot mature women, he most likely works in the fashion or hospitality industry. And if you’re around nurses all day, you’re obviously going to talk to each other and hang out if you’re on good terms.
So what would I do if I moved and didn’t have many females or younger guys where I worked? You already know that I advocate joining a local group or partaking in a local activity. Where you go is on you and depends on your interests, but as for me, I’d either join some local biking or improv theatre group. From there, I would not be too imposing at first; I’d just let people get use to being around me. If you’re too imposing at first, it tends to scare some people away or dislike you for trying to take over.
How do you gain the respect of others? You can start by just making sure that you greet those that you run across. Also, use whatever strengths you have to your advantage. For instance, I know that I am funny, so I use that to my advantage. And really, you just want to have something that people respect and sparks curiosity. For instance, if I joined a bike group, I’d buy a really cool bike. Or if I were in the fashion industry, I’d dress really, really, cool; just something that gains you a little respect and gets you noticed.
As far as conversation goes, I’m not going to give you any specifics, as that just comes with experience. However, what you want to do, is just learn to listen and focus on commonalities. With Hollywood, we had the military; with one of my buddies at my last job, we grew up in the same neighborhood; and with a guy at another job, we listened to the same music. When you have things in common, and are known to be a listener, people naturally gravitate towards you.
Alright, so you’re familiar with one another, what now? On like a Friday or Saturday, suggest that you go out for a drink or two after work or after whatever activity you‘re a part of. There is nothing that bonds people like alcohol. Personally, I don’t drink much or keep alcohol in my refrigerator, but I will use it as a tool to further my friendships. This is where you cross the line from being just work colleagues or activity associates to being actual friends. If things go well, and the people seem cool, exchange phone numbers with whoever and suggest you go out some other time. Where I worked before, people went out for drinks after work all the time.
Now that you have phone numbers and friends, what do you do next? Maintain those friendships. Have an occasional barbeque, go out to an event and invite them (bowling, pool, a local festival), or whatever…just keep in touch. Friendships must be maintained. And chances are, if you seem like a really cool guy, they’ll be the ones calling you and inviting you places. This post isn’t about picking up mature women, it’s about building friendships that will give you easy access to mature women and potential romantic partners. You’re going to meet mature women and other potential friends through the friends you already have, but first, you gotta build your initial social network.